Wound Vac Stories and More...

Twice a week from February 3rd when I was released from the hospital until March 15th, my parents would drive me from our house in Orange County to City of Hope Medical Research Center to have the Wound Vac dressings changed. City of Hope is located at the base of the San Gabriel Mountain Range's foothills. These foothills are home to places such as the City of Pasadena, the Rose Bowl and Tournament of Roses Parade, Santa Anita Race Track, several colleges including Azusa Pacific University and the original home of Dr. Dobson's first ministry, Focus on the Family. This area was also where my parents grew up, met and graduated high school together. I only spent my first couple of years living in this area before we moved.

Aside from going to City of Hope twice a week, I would also go to California Integrated Hyperbaric Center for vitamin C infusions twice a week. Since the nurse for these infusions was only available 3 days a week, we usually did a Tuesday/Thursday schedule and double booked one of our days with City of Hope. We would typically go in the early afternoon so mom could get home and cook dinner for dad.

Me with (L to R) Stephanie, Nurse Shannon and Lani
from California Integrated Hyperbaric Center.

This is how every session of a vitamin C infusion would go:

• Arrive at 11am or 1pm.
• Have a heating pad warm up my right hand to be able to find a vein.
• Wait for nurse Shannon to mix up vitamin C solution for 20 to 45min.
• Go to the bathroom.
• Have IV started in hand and begin IV drip.
• Go to the bathroom.
• Fall asleep on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket (I was always freezing from the amount of fluids).
• Wake up and go to the bathroom again.
• Eat a snack or lunch and drink a home brewed organic tea.
• Go to the bathroom again.
• Lay down again and take a nap.
• Wake up and go to the bathroom again.
• Sit on the sofa and bug mom with a million questions.
• Race to the bathroom again.
• Finish the IV fluids and wait for nurse Shannon for 10 to 30 min to remove the IV.
• Go to the bathroom again before getting in the car.
• Drive home and get in the house.
• Go to the bathroom again right away.

I don't know the size of the IV bag, but I know it was the largest IV bag available on the market. Nurse Shannon had to keep those bags in stock for me because the amount of fluid that was needed for my infusions was huge. That is why I was always going to the bathroom while receiving the infusion.

After I had the Wound Vac removed on March 15th, I had a vitamin C infusion. That day was like most other days, so nothing out of the ordinary. Then, the following day I was back at City of Hope seeing a radiation oncologist getting his opinion about radiation treatment. Hearing what "could" happen during radiation scared the living daylights out of me. He made me wonder if I was making the right choice. Yet, hearing what "could" happen if I didn't go through radiation also scared the living daylights out of me. What to do now?!?!?!?

Either situation was scary. Come out with skin burns, possible organ failures, etc. or rapidly progressing cancer, excessive pain, etc. Which outcome would be better to live with? This oncologist had a worse bedside manner than my surgeon did at first. He was such a mean man I called him "Putzner" when his name was Dr. Pezner. Either way, I really didn't like this guy and I think he knew it. But, we would be back again in a few days to set up everything needed for radiation therapy.

Diane, RN. during one of our Wound Vac changes.

Then, the following day, March 18th I was back at City of Hope yet again and was having the Wound Vac put back on. I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride with the Wound Vac being put on, taken off, put back on again. Argh! The consolation was that we got to see our favorite nurse, Diane. She always made changing the wound vac an experience to remember. We certainly love her and are grateful God brought her into our life.

A couple days went by and we were back at City of Hope again having the procedure where they use a CT scan to get the patient placed on the radiation machines just right. They line up your body through a series of scans and placement, marking and remarking to get it just right. After they feel they got it, the dr. comes in and looks at the final scan approving or not approving. When he approves, they place single dots of tattoo ink to mark the locations of alignment along with body paint and clear stickers for the techs to find and align the patient on the radiation table just right. When you leave, you feel like everyone is staring at you because you are all marked up with this stuff. In my case it was waist to toe, so people could see my markings on my legs as I was wearing capri pants. Oh how fun!

So after being tattooed, I had to meet with the radiation dr. We hadn't been too fond of him the last meeting, so we were hoping he was better today. That thinking was futile. He was even worse than before. He hadn't explained how any of the treatments would work, when they would start, how long they would last, etc. When he came in and talked with my family, we finally had to break in and ask him some questions.

I really had a deadline to get back to work because of the FMLA time almost being over for me. He was taken aback by this and started yelling at me that I had been wasting his time and wasn't taking this seriously, etc. I was stunned by this reaction since he was the one that hadn't given us any kind of instruction, so how were we supposed to know. I was so shaken up, I was literally shaking from head to toe from anger. My mom and dad knew this was not a good thing. I asked the doctor to leave the room so I could talk to my parents. He was taken aback by a patient dismissing him from their presence. He slowly exited the room after a couple times of trying to banter with me. But I held my ground about his leaving.

Once my parents and I discussed the situation, my dad asked the doctor back in and took the lead in explaining that we had to discuss this as a family to see when we could work in the therapy. In reality, there was no way on earth I was going to let this guy be my doctor. And my parents agreed. I should never have been treated the way I was. Patients are scared enough by the mere word "Cancer," let alone a doctor who tries to argue, belittle and berate you as a patient. There is no reason that should ever happen.

Next..."More Wound Vac Stories and More..."

Reflection:
This was another test in the anger arena. The radiation doctor was beyond his boundary. My father was a calming effect for me during this time. Mom was a comfort for me. And scripture was water to my soul. If you miss the last set of scriptures regarding anger in our lives, I've added it below again. Please reflect on these scriptures if you struggle with anger and feel free to email me sfraz7@gmail.com so I can pray for you and with you and a brother/sister in Christ.

Blessings All!



The Nature of God
"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;" Psalm 103:8-9


How We Are to Deal With Anger
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:8

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger." Romans 2:8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

“'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold...Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:26-27, 31

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." Colossians 3:8

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." James 1:19-21

Going Home is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

January 2010 was the beginning of big changes for my life.

Two days or so before my surgery, my boss called me from Colorado. For about a year he had been telling me that he was waiting for me to learn a few things before he could suggest that I be promoted to manager of our e-mail department. I never really understood what it was he was wanting me to learn, but I realized after while he was never going to promote me. When he called that day before surgery, he was calling to inform me that he had promoted someone else to manager and needed me to know this before I went into the hospital. Nice timing, right?

Now, I really don't think that it was necessary for him to tell me this right then, nor was I happy with the fact that I had been lied to for more than a year. I had been betrayed in a very big way by this and had a very hard time resolving what had happened for several months to come. I was angry and devastated all at the same time. However, the guy that had been promoted was caught in the middle. It was not his fault this had happened, and I really wasn't upset by him accepting the job. Our boss, though, this was a cowardly way to handle telling me and I was angry with him for how he handled this. He said that he HAD to make the decision to promote someone right then or he would loose the position completely. Why had he waited so long in the first place? I was the one he came to for answers and help all the time. 

I had some theories about why. And, I still do today. But, I had to move on. I'm not angry any more. God really did a lot of work on my heart. However, I do not trust that guy at all. And, that is okay not to trust him. But it is not okay to harbor bitterness or anger. That is why the Lord worked so hard with me to get rid of it from my life. I'm in a much better place now in so many ways anyhow.

With my moving around and walking with therapists after my surgery on the 15th, the incision became infected which required us to get a wound vac again. (You can read about that here.) So, for a few weeks I was in the hospital with the wound vac being changed every few days by our favorite nurse, Diane. Because Diane was so busy, she brought in another lady to learn how to change the vac from patients. Just as they got started, this trainee lady walked out to do something and didn't come back until we were totally done changing the vac and bandages. She learned nothing that day. Diane, my parents and I learned she was not even close to being trust-worthy.

On February 3, 2010 I was released to go home with my parents and a portable wound vac in tow. I was not being sent to a rehab hospital this time. I was able to go directly home, which I thought was awesome. I was tired of being in a hospital bed and awakened at all hours of the day and night and was glad to be in my own bed again. I was seen by an in-home care nurse since I was still on antibiotics and she would do general wound care. We still went twice a week to see Diane at City of Hope for her to change the wound vac dressings. This type of schedule would last for several months.

After my experience with insurance in 2008 (You can read about that here.), I was slightly concerned how they were going to react to my portable wound vac. Insurance is always so much fun to deal with. True to form, on March 15th the insurance company forced us to discontinue the wound vac, saying all should be well at this point. What I was dealing with was a lot of pain from the removal of the bottom portion of my pelvis. Things were just not right, and nothing seemed to work to make it better.

My parents next door neighbor knew a naturopathic doctor in town and suggested we go see her. Mom made an appointment and we went. Mom and I really liked this lady and knew in our hearts we needed to work with her with whatever she suggested I do. So, we started me on a regimen of natural supplements and vitamins and twice a week we went to see a nurse for large doses of vitamin C infusions. The infusions would take 2-3 hours a piece and made me very tired until the end of the session when I gained all kinds of energy. We continued these treatments for several months.

Three days after having the wound vac removed, the doctor ordered it back on. He said that the wound had not healed up and that it had been premature to remove it. Diane spoke with the insurance company directly explaining what she was doing and my progress of healing. They agreed to cover it again and we were back in the land of healing.

Next..."Wound Vac Stories and More..."

Reflection:
As I was writing today's entry, I was ever so aware of the Lord impressing upon my heart to touch on the issue of anger in our lives. With as angry as I was for being wronged by my boss just before going into surgery, there would be other incidents along the way that would make this pale in comparison later. And in the grand scheme of life, as betrayed as I felt, was it worth getting angry about it and causing worse things to happen within my own body? I think not.

I have included several verses that talk about anger and what it does to our lives and how the Lord would have us deal with it. If you have difficulty with anger being a large part of your life, reflect upon the Word of the Lord below.

The Nature of God

"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;" Psalm 103:8-9

How We Are to Deal With Anger "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:8

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger." Romans 2:8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

“'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold...Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:26-27, 31

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." Colossians 3:8

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." James 1:19-21

Been Movin'

Hi All!

I know it has been a little bit since I got to my blog here. I have been in the process of moving out of my apartment and into a house. As you can imagine, working full time and trying to move really takes a toll on a person.

Anyhow, bear with me as I get back into writing slowly, but surely.

Thanks for walking this journey with me!

A Quilt, Surgery and A Nerf Sized Tumor

Within days of finding out that I had another tumor on my pelvic bone and that I was going to have to undergo another surgery to remove it, my family and I had my cousins up to my parents house for dinner. My cousins have been huge prayer warriors for me and my family since we first found out about the original tumor in 2008. Friends of my cousin have a prayer group which makes "Prayer Quilts" for people they know are in the hospital or are going to have surgery, etc. This group of women make some beautiful quilts for people.

This dinner with my cousins was for me to receive my "Prayer Quilt." What a beautiful quilt it is as well. The purpose of the quilt is for these ladies to leave the final tying of the squares up to others who are or have been praying for that person. In my case, to this day, all my squares have been tied at least twice, which is a huge blessing to know how many people have been and still are praying for me. And, there are many that are not close enough to be able to tie a knot on my quilt, but they are still praying for me none-the-less. Do you know how many people that is? Let's just say it is in the triple digits. I feel so incredibly blessed to have so many people supporting me and my family in this way. And I am grateful to my cousin and her friends for creating the quilt for me.

Right now, this quilt is hanging in my bedroom for me to see and touch every day.

As tradition would have it,
grandma Marj always baked
our Christmas pies.

We were now closing in on 2010, getting ready to celebrate Christmas and Christ's birth. Christmas has always been a special time of the year for my moms side of the family. My dad's side of the family didn't really celebrate as their faith was not aligned with our family. None-the-less, my grandma baked the pies and had dinner with us while she was alive, even though she didn't believe as we do. I hold some very special memories and traditions we incorporated because of my grandma in my heart. I am sorry those traditions were not passed down so we could still share those with my dad. I feel it would have been very special for him if we had been able to.

All the girls in the early '80s.

However, with our family being so small, my mom still tries to make Christmas something extra special every year for us. Our newest tradition is opening our house to our neighbors on each side of my parents house and to any of my mom and dads friends we know are going to be alone. I also include a very close friend and her husband, Scott and Kathy Boyle, to celebrate with us as well. It's the one time of year I can sit down with them and just chill out, watch some football and talk. This time of year is also where our family takes our annual family and "girls" pictures.

The entire extended family photo.

When I was very young, all the ladies in our family would stand together and have our picture taken to see the generations (see above). After many years of not seeing part of our family, when we got back together and were talking about the things we "used to do," I had the idea of restarting that tradition. So, every year at Christmas (or Thanksgiving if Christmas wasn't going to work), the five of us ladies sit on the couch at whatever home we are gathered at, and we taken our annual "girls" picture.

But I didn't want to leave the guys out. I wanted to create a new tradition, and so we have someone take a family picture with the husbands behind their wives. And if we are blessed to have my grandfathers side of the family join us at the Newport Beach Annual Boat Parade party at my grandparents condo, I am able to get a picture of the whole family together (that has only happened once so far, see photo above left).

It was good to have a fun Christmas because it would be a very short time and I would be going through surgery again for cancer on my right leg and pelvis. So, as New Year's passed by, our family made several trips to the hospital for final testing and pre-op procedures. The closer we came to surgery day, the more real it became to me that this was happening.

Friday morning, January 15, 2010 was finally here. We took my dad's Jeep to the hospital. Mom had offered me a sweatshirt to wear in the car on the way up as it was a chilly morning. I declined as I was warm in the house getting ready. Once we were in the car and had switched freeways, my body was shivering out of control. This was not a normal response for me.

We arrived at the hospital and dad dropped mom and I off at the door to the check-in area, while he parked the car. I was still shaking uncontrollably. Dad joined us before I was called back to check-in with insurance verification and final signatures. I was still shaking uncontrollably. My name was called with a group of people and we were taken to the pre-op rooms. I was still shaking uncontrollably.

I changed my clothes to the hospital gown, hair covering and booties they require for surgery, answered all the questions with the nurses and finished all the current vital signs. I was still shaking uncontrollably. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in to talk about my sedation. I was still shaking uncontrollably. He realized I was going to need a sedative now because I was shaking uncontrollably. After several minutes from taking the sedative, the shaking finally stopped and I was almost ready to be taken in for surgery. Once out, I would have no idea what was going on until I had been awakened again in recovery. Hopefully, I would not be shaking uncontrollably (LOL).

After coming out of the anesthesia, I don't remember much of what my mom was telling me. She has a tendency to talk to me like I am fully coherent. I am sure I answered her with correct things, because I didn't get any responses later about not answering her. So, that was a plus in my favor. But, I do remember (and we have talked about it since) being told that the doctor came out to talk with my parents after surgery. Dr. Femino explained that all went well and the steps he took. He also told my parents the size of the tumor was that of a small Nerf football. What?!? This thing came out of nowhere and it was the size of a small Nerf football? How could that be?

Well, considering the size of the tumor it was not a surprise at all the doctors had to do. The remaining portion of my right pelvic bone and part of the left bottom portion had to be removed. My bladder had surgical mesh from my previous surgery attached to it, and when they tried to remove it, it nicked my bladder so they had to bring in a urologist to fix it. The tumor went down my right thigh slightly and had wrapped around either an artery or a main blood vessel. If they had cut it out at that point, it would have cut off the blood supply to my leg and I would have lost my leg (which was why we had the first surgery to save the leg). After all of this in surgery, my body had so much less flesh, that I had what looked like a sink hole from my lower stomach to my thigh. Even with swelling, it looked concave (and part of it still does).

So, recovery was a little rough this time around. I didn't have the brace like I did in the first surgery, which I was very grateful for. However, without the majority of my pelvis, it was very hard to walk. As you might be able to imagine, there is virtually no stability for the right side of my body as my core structure has been removed because of this cancer. Life would be much different now than it had been for the past 17 months. Again, I would need to rely on the Lord for my strength, both physically and spiritually.

Next..."Going Home is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be."

Reflection:
"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." Psalm 1:1-3