Thursday, March 21, 2013

Going Home is Not All It's Cracked Up To Be

January 2010 was the beginning of big changes for my life.

Two days or so before my surgery, my boss called me from Colorado. For about a year he had been telling me that he was waiting for me to learn a few things before he could suggest that I be promoted to manager of our e-mail department. I never really understood what it was he was wanting me to learn, but I realized after while he was never going to promote me. When he called that day before surgery, he was calling to inform me that he had promoted someone else to manager and needed me to know this before I went into the hospital. Nice timing, right?

Now, I really don't think that it was necessary for him to tell me this right then, nor was I happy with the fact that I had been lied to for more than a year. I had been betrayed in a very big way by this and had a very hard time resolving what had happened for several months to come. I was angry and devastated all at the same time. However, the guy that had been promoted was caught in the middle. It was not his fault this had happened, and I really wasn't upset by him accepting the job. Our boss, though, this was a cowardly way to handle telling me and I was angry with him for how he handled this. He said that he HAD to make the decision to promote someone right then or he would loose the position completely. Why had he waited so long in the first place? I was the one he came to for answers and help all the time. 

I had some theories about why. And, I still do today. But, I had to move on. I'm not angry any more. God really did a lot of work on my heart. However, I do not trust that guy at all. And, that is okay not to trust him. But it is not okay to harbor bitterness or anger. That is why the Lord worked so hard with me to get rid of it from my life. I'm in a much better place now in so many ways anyhow.

With my moving around and walking with therapists after my surgery on the 15th, the incision became infected which required us to get a wound vac again. (You can read about that here.) So, for a few weeks I was in the hospital with the wound vac being changed every few days by our favorite nurse, Diane. Because Diane was so busy, she brought in another lady to learn how to change the vac from patients. Just as they got started, this trainee lady walked out to do something and didn't come back until we were totally done changing the vac and bandages. She learned nothing that day. Diane, my parents and I learned she was not even close to being trust-worthy.

On February 3, 2010 I was released to go home with my parents and a portable wound vac in tow. I was not being sent to a rehab hospital this time. I was able to go directly home, which I thought was awesome. I was tired of being in a hospital bed and awakened at all hours of the day and night and was glad to be in my own bed again. I was seen by an in-home care nurse since I was still on antibiotics and she would do general wound care. We still went twice a week to see Diane at City of Hope for her to change the wound vac dressings. This type of schedule would last for several months.

After my experience with insurance in 2008 (You can read about that here.), I was slightly concerned how they were going to react to my portable wound vac. Insurance is always so much fun to deal with. True to form, on March 15th the insurance company forced us to discontinue the wound vac, saying all should be well at this point. What I was dealing with was a lot of pain from the removal of the bottom portion of my pelvis. Things were just not right, and nothing seemed to work to make it better.

My parents next door neighbor knew a naturopathic doctor in town and suggested we go see her. Mom made an appointment and we went. Mom and I really liked this lady and knew in our hearts we needed to work with her with whatever she suggested I do. So, we started me on a regimen of natural supplements and vitamins and twice a week we went to see a nurse for large doses of vitamin C infusions. The infusions would take 2-3 hours a piece and made me very tired until the end of the session when I gained all kinds of energy. We continued these treatments for several months.

Three days after having the wound vac removed, the doctor ordered it back on. He said that the wound had not healed up and that it had been premature to remove it. Diane spoke with the insurance company directly explaining what she was doing and my progress of healing. They agreed to cover it again and we were back in the land of healing.

Next..."Wound Vac Stories and More..."

As I was writing today's entry, I was ever so aware of the Lord impressing upon my heart to touch on the issue of anger in our lives. With as angry as I was for being wronged by my boss just before going into surgery, there would be other incidents along the way that would make this pale in comparison later. And in the grand scheme of life, as betrayed as I felt, was it worth getting angry about it and causing worse things to happen within my own body? I think not.

I have included several verses that talk about anger and what it does to our lives and how the Lord would have us deal with it. If you have difficulty with anger being a large part of your life, reflect upon the Word of the Lord below.

The Nature of God
"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

"The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;" Psalm 103:8-9

How We Are to Deal With Anger "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil." Psalm 37:8

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

"But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger." Romans 2:8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

“'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold...Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Ephesians 4:26-27, 31

"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." Colossians 3:8

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." James 1:19-21

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